Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Questions Begin

I was talking to a friend today, from my kid's school, who knows I'm taking my kids out of their school at the end of this year. She asked me what my plan was for the next school year and when I told her "Home School!" the questions began! This was my first time to be "under fire" for my decision but I felt like I had some good answers for her.

Question #1: "Math is hard, I could never teach that, how are you going to keep up with what they are learning and be able to teach that?"

My Answer: I know math is hard! And to make it worse, I HATE MATH! I'm really not looking forward to teaching it. BUT, I've found so many options, online curriculum, one day schools, comprehensive teacher guides, that make it a possibility. This question didn't bother me so much because it was one of my main obstacles to consider in home schooling also.

Question #2: "What about socialization?"

My Answer: Again, this was a big issue for me also, my daughter is a social butterfly and honestly I'm concerned about my ear drums because I know she will talk them off, ALL.DAY.LONG! But, I am looking at their current situation for socialization, Regan tells me that someone in her class told her all about S-E-X (and yes, she spelled it). A boy chases her around the playground wanting to "make sexy" and kiss her. A girl, whose father owns a strip club, is always trying to scare Regan by telling her a bunch of ghost stories, many of which have her coming to our bed in the middle of the night.

Riley on the other hand, alternates between victim and bully, according to his teacher. He tells the teacher when a kid hits him, and she tells him to ignore it, so when the kid repeatedly hits him, and he finally hits back, he gets ISS and a referral. The kids in his class are either way behind, make fun of him for being the smallest in the class, or use one hand to hold their pants up. Again, not the environment I want my kids learning socialization.

We are a Christian, God-fearing family. I want my kids to learn how to respect each other, and other people, no matter who they are or what they believe. I don't think they learn that in a school with other kids being mean and hateful and following the pack mentality. I am looking forward to home school mainly for this reason, to instill in them some Godly character, to expect more from them than the school does. To hold them to a higher standard than they've been held to, and for them to learn to love and serve others, no matter their differences. How is that a bad thing?

Question #3: "What about a schedule? I think kids need to learn how to be on a schedule!"

My Answer: I intend of having a schedule! In this technological age, there are so many jobs that aren't 9-5, my husband has one of them. He works for the state and works from home a lot of the time. Not that he sleeps in and works whenever, but there is a tremendous amount of flexibility in his schedule. I plan on getting up in the morning (not as early as before, because my kids are like me, NOT morning people, and I'm tired of the fighting, hateful words that early in the morning!) but we will still be up early-ish, dressed, and they can learn about doing their chores before they start school, something they don't have time for now. They can get all their school work done in a much shorter time frame than in regular school, and still have time for study trips or sports activities.

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that public schools and prisons are run very much the same way? I don't want my kids incarcerated for the next 8-10 years!

So, those are my answers, for what it's worth. I know everyone home schools for different reasons, and mine may be different than someone elses. But, I'm doing what I feel is best for MY kids at this time. Next year might be another story, but we're taking this one year at a time, I have a feeling sometimes it will be one day at a time!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

God Speaks...

So my last post was a bit of whining from me about giving up my *me* time to home school, and literally, not 10 minutes later, I was checking into some of my friends blogs and found one of them posted this article:


The "Me Time" Myth
Amy Roberts
The Old Schoolhouse

I once heard a talk show host give a very compelling argument for why moms need time away. He said mothers give and give to the point of empty. They must refuel themselves so they can continue to give.

It sounded quite reasonable to me. Then why did my search for this hallowed “me time” always leave me feeling as though I needed more? While taking time for myself, I definitely felt refreshed, but the moment I got home and realized the sink was still full of dirty dishes and I would still have to give baths to all the children before the night would be over, I wanted to head right back out the door.

This left me feeling sorry for myself. Why couldn’t I have one night where I wouldn’t have to do the same things I do every night? Why couldn’t I come home to a spotless and trouble-free place where dishes were washed and children were in bed? Why did I have to go back to my duties so soon? To punish those who were making my life difficult, I would loudly sling dishes and be curt and hurried with everyone until I could get children into bed and escape to the sewing room or the computer for the remainder of the evening.

The next morning, feeling dissatisfied with the amount of me time from the evening prior, I would take my coffee, sit at the computer, and completely ignore my daily duties. I would get irritated with the children because their antics were cutting into my time. I was stressed and edgy and desperate for more. My children would call out for me and I would answer, “She’s not here right now.”

Then, I began staying up much too late in order to squeeze in more alone time. I dreaded going to bed because it meant waking up to children’s needs and a disaster of a house.

I became increasingly upset by my husband’s time off from work, along with the business lunches and the business trips. To compensate for the perceived unfairness of the situation, I chose to do nothing on weekends: no laundry, no dishes, no parenting. Soon, my weekends were spilling over both ends and into the weekdays. All of this only served to overwhelm me even more and feed into my desire to escape.

In a moment of clarity, as only the Lord can offer, I saw my behavior for what it truly was: selfishness. Along with this epiphany came the conviction to quit seeking Me Time.

Me Time is a myth. It is an unattainable, always interruptible, never satisfying piece of junk psychology. Me Time, by its very name, suggests that who we are during the daily grind is not who we truly are. It begs us to search for fulfillment outside of the titles of “wife” and “mother.” It accuses precious little ones and God-given spouses for suppressing us. It reduces motherhood to a disease in which little dirty faces and endless monotonous tasks slowly suck the life out of us. It says we can never be refreshed by spending time in the presence of those we care for day in and day out. It points out a perceived hole in our world that needs to be filled, a tank that must be refueled, a monster that will swallow us if we neglect to feed it Me Time.

The more we indulge the thought that we are somehow owed this time away, the more we will seek after it. The more we seek after it, the more every little opportunity afforded us to take a break will seemingly end too quickly. The everyday life of being a mother will become drudgery. We will dread every aspect of this role. We will snap at our children any time they try to draw us out of our precious time alone. Not getting this time will ruin our day, and if we do manage some time away, we will despise the re-entry.

However, with any lie, there is a certain amount of truth hidden within. There is an emptiness within us that needs to be filled, but only God can fill what you are aching for.

The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.” Lamentations 3:24–25

Our time away should be spent seeking Him. Anything else we try to fill that emptiness with will fall miserably short. Likewise, the company we seek during our time away should be spent with people who are about the business of edifying and strengthening us in our role as wife and mother, not tearing at the very foundation of our home. We will never gain anything but resentment from the counsel of those who encourage us to seek self.

We must cease to see the role of wife and mother as a job we put aside at the end of the day. We must do our daily tasks cheerfully, as unto the Lord. We must learn to enjoy being home with our families. We must find contentment in serving others. We should spend more time drinking in the beauty of our children, searching their eyes, holding their hands, being Mom. When we do feel neglected or overworked, we must immediately seek the Lord to refresh us and keep us from sin.

There will be days when we are afforded opportunities to do things alone or with other women, but if we are content in our God-given role, we will no longer cling so tightly to these moments as the only way to save our sanity. Our need for Me Time will fade as we begin to see motherhood as a blessing not to be escaped, but embraced.

Published on January 26, 2009

Now, I'm not saying anything against anybody who does have "me time" on a regular basis. But for me, this article really hit home. It's something that my husband and I have argued about in the past, that I feel like I never have time to myself, just to sit and relax and maybe sometimes eat a hot meal! But like this article says, I need to be content in my relationship with God, and my relationship with my kids, and not begrudge the role of wife and mother that I wanted so badly to be. I am thankful that I have my two, happy, healthy (if at times rambunctious) kids. I was told by a few doctors that I wouldn't be able to have children, so they really are the blessings of the Lord. Why do I try to hard to get away from them at times?

Anyway, I just really felt like this was speaking to me, and I hope it speaks to others as well. I am now at peace with my decision to home school, no matter how much of myself I have to give up. I know that my relationship with David is a priority and I will keep that the most important thing, next to my relationship with God, and everything else will fall into place!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

PANIC

Just when I think "I can do this" something else crops up to make me think, "Holy Cow, what am I getting myself into?"

It's little things, like, me and my husband have a standing breakfast date every week at our local favorite, Cafe Java. That will be out if I'm home schooling. Sometimes we meet for lunch during the week, and sometimes we *shock* come home and take a nap (wink, wink). I'm just seeing a lot of quality time with my husband going down the drain. Not that I think my kids education should be less than what it should be just so hubby and I can have some breakfast tacos in peace, but it does scare me, the amount of *me* time that I will be giving up.

I really do need to look at this as an investment in their future I guess. But goodness, if they keep fighting with each other like they do now, our school might include some duct taped mouths and boxing gloves or something.

So how do parents that home school make time for each other? We hardly ever go out at night. We've never paid a babysitter, we use family infrequently, and enjoy going during the day when it's never busy and we can have quiet time to talk and reconnect. Something else for me to really think about and plan into our home school time.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Narrowing the Field?

I thought I had narrowed the field some. I was leaning towards Switched on Schoolhouse (computer based) or Lifepacs (workbooks), both from Alpha Omega Publishing. I was also looking at My Father's World, which would be convenient because it allows one to teach multiple kids the same curriculum, I would just supplement age-appropriate math. Which math is a whole other question, although I am leaning towards Math-U-See, but David likes the idea of Singapore Math (since he will most likely have to do the math lessons, I should probably let him choose). I don't think either one of my kids is strong enough in math to jump to Singapore Math just yet.

I looked at online schools like Abeka and Christian Liberty Academy (which ironically enough, is where my little brother graduated from home-high school about 15 years ago). The issue there is, they are quite pricey, and again, not too sure about sitting in front of a computer all day. The upside is, I wouldn't have to "teach" and could just be there as backup. But, it's not quite sitting well with me.

Then I found a website called AmbleSide Online which outlines all you need for a Classical Christian education. I'm liking the sound of that. I really need, at this point, to read the book, "The Well Trained Mind" but that would require me either finding the overdue library book, or going to pay my fine (I'm going to pay it, I really am, I just haven't been by there when they are OPEN). I should probably just buy the darn thing.

So that opens many more options, are we going to try and give our kids the very best education possible, which may be the Classical approach? Or take an easier route, maybe not quite as challenging, and buy a kit or something they can be taught together? Again: options, options. I am trying to take this one year at a time, and not look at it like I'm going to be home schooling them till they graduate, but just worry about this particular year for right now.

But that's not helping me either. I still have a few months before we are making the leap, so I know I have plenty of time, but I am also very anxious to get what we need and start going through it, making lesson plans, and supplementing over the summer, because I really feel both kids are behind where they should be at this point.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

What's the Plural of Curriculum?

Curricula? Anyway, I had NO IDEA there were so many to choose from! I'm already mind-boggled. The first choice seems to be, do I want a computer based or workbook based curriculum? I think the computer based might be good for Riley, since he likes to be on the computer all day anyway, but Regan, who isn't the strongest reader, and would probably veer off into Webkinz land every time I look away, that might not be a good option for her.

I know I want a Christian based curriculum. I figure we'll try process of elimination. Of course, I don't know how many are NOT Christian based, so that doesn't help much either. I'm literally starting from scratch. I think talking with other people who have done this will help, but I am realizing every single person has used a different curriculum, and they all say theirs is the best. I wanted someone to say, "I use this, it's perfect, you should use it too." But I'm getting a lot of, "what works for us might not work for you" statements and now that makes me nervous too!

Then I thought I had it narrowed down to 4 or 5 and found a website that has reviews and Holy Cow there's even more than I thought! More to cross off my list. I don't know if it's normal but I feel this is the "key" to home schooling. If I find the right curriculum, it will all fall into place and make this an easy decision for us. But if I choose the wrong one, the kids will hate it, I'll hate teaching it, and nothing will get done and we're worse off than before. No pressure though, right?

Then I read about a "Classical" education, okay, I'm liking this idea. Seems like a LOT more work though, for me, and hey, no big deal, I'm committed to this, I know I can do it, but again, is this THE RIGHT way to go?

Should I get a kit that includes the entire year of books, sign up for a computer based school, use a one day program where the kids go for one day and get all the instruction and work on the rest at home, mix and match curriculum based on their individual needs, or what? Seriously, someone tell me cause I still have no idea!

Friday, March 20, 2009

To Home School or NOT to Home School?

This has been a HUGE dilemma for me. I have always been pretty anti-home school, mostly because it seemed the kids I saw who were home schooled were not the smartest kids, they were stuck like glue to their mama's (not in a healthy way) and just not who I wanted my kids to be like.

I was about as adamant against public school as I was against home school, if that was possible. But, after being in a local charter school since both my kids started kindergarten, I feel like it is time for a change. I don't feel like they are growing academically the way they should, and the really big issue for me, I don't really like what I see they are becoming as people. They are out of my hands for around 8 hours a day, and being molded and shaped into people I don't recognize. Who are these strange kids coming home every day, learning new (and not great) words, fighting, displaying the opposite of the Christian character we try to instill in them as much as possible?

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to turn them into brainless robots that believe the exact way we do, and act exactly as we tell them. Of course anyone who knows my kids, knows that that would be next to impossible anyway, can we say strong willed? But I just don't like the influence they are under for the majority of their lives.

So, what are my options at this point? My son, my super smart, funny, sweet little boy, who is officially diagnosed as "ADHD" is drowning in school right now. He finished 1st grade able to do 4th grade work, and now that he's IN 4th grade, with the lack of challenge he's had in the past few years, he's now BEHIND in 4th grade work. My daughter, my loud, stubborn, forceful daughter, is in 1st grade and thinks school is where you get to play with your friends for 8 hours.

I looked at our local public school, briefly. I checked their ratings with the TEA and saw that it is not exactly a highly rated school, and not only that, in one short year my son would be going into middle school, which scares the living daylights out of me! Maybe my own middle school days still haunt me some (and they weren't fun).

I looked at private schools, several in particular and we came to the conclusion that we would have to sell one child to pay for the other one to have a decent education! Not quite willing to go down that route yet, that left me with one glaring option: home school. Ah, has it come to this??

So, I thought about starting this blog to help me help others who might come to this decision as well. I plan on documenting my struggles to pick out the best curriculum, figure out our schedule, find other home school families in our area, and how we're coming along. Please feel free to leave comments for me if you have any suggestions or think you can help. I'm new at this, and I want as much help as possible!